Battlefield
by nomiann
Summary: He was her perfect boyfriend, her lover, her soulmate. And what was she? She was filthy. Dirty. And what was worse, was that she enjoyed it.
1. Chapter 1

Battlefield

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor any of its characters. I wish I did, but I don't. _

* * *

**_Just an idea I got from an RP I did with a friend, and also inspired by Lea Michele's "Battlefield". Rachel's a famous porn star in LA, while Finn's a simple, shy, quiet, and struggling videographer that Rachel had a crush on in high school when she was a freshman and he was a senior. Simple one-shot I wrote late last night. _**

* * *

He was so perfect. Everything about him. Even as he was just sleeping, and she was watching his chest move up and down with every breath he took. His brown hair was ruffled, mainly from all the sex they had that night. Half of it was lovemaking. Actually, most of it was.

The sheet that she was using to cover up her breasts was hanging down low at his hips, revealing his impressively muscular abdomen. For a moment, she considered tracing his abs with a finger, but she decided against it. He'd come home late, and she'd been up waiting, insisting on a few rounds before they tuckered the both of them out. Poor man was doing all he could to please her.

As if she deserved it.

It made her sick, every time she thought about it. How he was just so fucking perfect, and she was just so fucked up. He didn't deserve it. All the hell she was putting him through, every day when she went to work.

He never once complained about it, but she knew what she was doing to him. He was there every single evening when she came to his apartment so that she could receive the proper treatment she deserved, as he liked to so often tell her. What did she give him in return? She went to work, and had sex multiple times with men who were more than happy to fuck her for her body. Work was work, wasn't it? And men were men, work or not.

She saw it in his eyes every time he asked her how work was. She saw how that sparkle in his eyes disappeared more and more each day. It was killing him inside. He never uttered a word about it. He just told her he loved her, and held her until she fell asleep on his chest.

It seemed like a good idea at first. When she'd accidentally bumped into him in that coffee shop. Her biggest crush in high school when she was a freshman and he was a senior, then later became her tutor. He was quiet, shy, and awkward, but he was hot as hell. He was incredibly sweet and a gentleman, and she was determined to help him come out of his shell. It was a shame that the world didn't know the man. They knew him now, thanks to her.

One of his short films was taken in by one of Hollywood's biggest producers, and he was on his way to becoming the next big thing.

She'd been his first kiss, and his first partner. She'd taken his virginity. He trusted her enough to give it up to her. He'd never seen her films, and didn't want to, either. He didn't want them to taint his view of her. She was his girlfriend, not some naked figure everyone idolized. She was normal. And she loved that about him. He treated her…normal.

He was her perfect boyfriend, her lover, her soulmate. And what was she? She was filthy. Dirty. And what was worse, was that she enjoyed it. She had found something she was good at, and she loved hearing people tell her how amazing she was. It also sickened her. People loved her body and the sounds she could elicit. Not her. They didn't love her.

But he did. And he reminded her every moment he had. Every morning they'd wake up together, and every night, he told her. During the day, he'd call or text her. Even send her flowers. He did all he possibly could to let her know that she was loved.

And how did she repay him? She went on about her day, having sex with other men who weren't her boyfriend, like it was nothing.

But it was killing him inside. Those eyes of his that watched her with adoration were hiding the hurt inside. She knew it.

Of course, she wanted to choose him over her job. Anyone in Hollywood would kill to have her in one of their Rated R or Not Rated films. But this job? It was who she was. She wasn't any better than just being a porn star. Being adored for her body. Nobody knew who she really was, nor did they care. She'd done this to herself. She never thought she was good enough, so she took what she knew she was best good at, sex, and started her career with it.

She never thought she'd fall so hard for someone. She was sure that every man she'd ever date would just want to fuck her, nothing else. It's happened before, and she fell for every single one of their tricks. She wanted to be loved so badly, that for just one night, she believed these men loved her for her. They never did.

He was different. He loved her. Her heart, her mind, her soul, and body, all equally. He was perfect.

And here she was, about to break his heart. She had to do it. Because she wasn't good enough for him, and she never would be.

The tear that thought it would fall from her eye without her permission was immediately wiped from her cheek. This…beautiful and wonderful person was lying beside her, remaining ever so faithful to her. It was going to be the most difficult thing she's ever had to do.

Her heart was already sobbing, begging her to rethink. To quit her job, damn any consequences, and to just remain in this man's loving arms. But no. Her mind knew she couldn't do that. She had already made her decision. She needed to do this.

"Rach?" a groggy voice asked.

Her wide eyes darted up to his face. She was tight in his warm embrace, and she desperately attempted to hide any evidence of the fact that she was so upset.

"Mm?"

One of his hands came up to brush through her long, mica brown hair, and a smile graced his lips before he even opened his eyes. And when he did, she smiled right back. "You're so beautiful," he said sincerely, like he did almost every morning. She wasn't hot, or sexy, or fuckable. No, she was beautiful. She loved hearing him say it. "I love you so much, Rachel Berry."

That was as far as she could take it. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she was surprised he couldn't hear it. She thought she was going to be sick.

Immediately, she sat straight up and shut her eyes as she took a few deep breaths.

"Rachel?" he asked, concern in his voice.

She had to do it. She would be selfish if she didn't. He deserved better. A million times better. She was at the lowest of the low. He deserved to be with a queen. Not some low-life whore whose naked body popped up on the screen of every male in the world. She needed to let go of him, so she didn't hurt him further.

"Finn…there's something I need to talk to you about," she said, choking as she said his name, and then opened her eyes.

Maybe it was lust at first, but they both fell in love with each other. It could have been perfect. At this point, she would have married him if he asked. But she couldn't live with herself knowing how she was torturing him, killing him slowly. She'd rather die than see that look in his eyes again, those adoring eyes, after asking her how work went that day.

He was perfect. He deserved perfect. She wasn't perfect.

* * *

**_R & R? Please? Haven't written in a while, so I'd love to know what you guys think!_**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**So, I took it into consideration, what a few of you asked, to turn this into an actual story, and I think that I have enough motivation and inspiration to do so! Therefore...here's my second chapter. It's not perfect, because I wrote it at almost three in the morning, but hey. I did what you asked! T for now, and may develop into M. Enjoy!**_

* * *

It had been almost four months. Three months, three weeks, and a day, to be precise. That's how long they'd been together. She'd cherished every single day that they were a couple. A real, normal couple.

And now it was…precisely six days, seven hours, and fifty-two minutes since she'd broken his heart.

She knew it would be painful for her to see. What she didn't know was that it would absolutely destroy her.

The look he had on his face when she told him that they couldn't be together anymore. The tears that flooded his eyes, and he tried so hard to keep them at bay, when she said that she wasn't ever going to be good enough for him. "You are way more than good enough, Rachel. I don't need good enough. I just need you," he had said.

But she couldn't argue anymore. She knew that the poor man's heart was broken. She had wrapped that sheet around her, gathered her clothes, and changed out in the living room. For the first time ever, Rachel had been ashamed to be naked in front of someone.

She had done him a favor. What was she thinking? She could never in a million years be someone's wife, and certainly not someone as gracious and compassionate as Finn. She could never have children. Not only would she most likely screw them up too, they'd be ashamed to be called her children.

Love was for real people who led real lives, and could come home from the office at the end of the day, and actually talk about what happened at work. She was so stupid to believe she could actually be normal.

"Rachel, you're on in five," came the voice, and a knock on her trailer door.

But she was just sipping away at her third glass of Bordeaux, knees to her chest as she was drowning in the sorrow and self pity she brought upon herself.

"No, I'm not," she replied, but not keeping her eyes off the picture that was on her shelf of herself and Finn.

"Come on, don't be like that, sweetheart. We've just got a few shots today, and it won't take long. You never do."

That comment infuriated her. She knew what the director meant. She knew exactly what he was insinuating.

"That's too bad! Find someone else who'll fuck for money!" she slurred, tears pricking her eyes.

"Rachel…"

"Go _away_!" She threw her empty glass into the door, and it shattered into a million pieces.

Grabbing the bottle off the table, she took it to her mouth, drinking from it. Bordeaux was special to her. She and Finn had a glass of it that first night she took him out. Right before she gave him his first kiss.

_ "Really, Rachel. Thank you for tonight. It means so much to me that you did this for me," he said sincerely, and with a soft smile on his lips. "You...bought me clothes, and even took me out clubbing. You didn't have to do that." _

_ She shrugged, returning the smile. "I wanted to. You deserve it, Finn. You deserve to be treated wonderfully. I'm surprised you don't have girls lining up at your door. You are…the sweetest guy I know."_

_ "I'm awkward. Shy. A nerd. Women don't like that." _

_ Tracing the edge of her wineglass with a finger, she replied, "Well, I do. You are so special, Finn."_

_ "I think you've got that part wrong. You're the special one. Nobody does this for someone they haven't seen in years. That makes you…incredibly kind and special."_

_ "Doubt it. I'm just treating you the way…I'd want to be treated."_

_ He paused to look at her for a moment, before he put down his glass. Carefully, he raised a hand to her cheek, and ran his thumb over her cheekbone softly, getting her attention. "Well, I hope that…someday you find someone who treats you like a _queen._"_

_ She searched his eyes for a moment, looking for even a hint of a lie. She wanted to see if he was tricking her. All she could see was adoration. Happiness. _

_ "I like you, Rachel. I really like you."_

_ That was all it took for her to lean forward and softly press her lips to his. Her wineglass blindly made it to the coffee table, and her hand went up to cup his cheek. He was kissing her back, and even pulling himself closer to her. He liked her. He really, truly, genuinely liked her. And he didn't even have to want to get in her pants to say that he liked her. _

_ She pulled back slightly to look at him, and a smile slowly shone on her face. "I really like you too, Finn Hudson."_

_ This time, it was he who leaned forward and kissed her, this time more roughly than she'd kissed him. _

_ He liked her. He liked her. He liked her._

_ With each passing thought, the kiss slowly got deeper and deeper. She pressed her tongue against his lips, and though he didn't know what to do at first, he opened his mouth for her, and their tongues fell into rhythm with one another. _

_ Her mind was slowly going blank. When was the last time that happened when she was kissing someone? And her eyes were closed. Something was happening to her. Something…wonderful. She felt wonderful._

_ The kisses became more and more heated, and she was forced to pull back for oxygen. Leaning their foreheads against each other, they caught their breaths together. And they were grinning at each other. _

_ His eyes still only shone brightly with adoration. She could see trust in them, and even hope. _

_ He was a special man. He made her feel alive. He treated her like he most likely would any other woman. _

_ For the first time in a very long time, she felt wanted. _

She swirled the last few drops of the wine before taking those down as well. They burned her throat, and it was probably because sobs were being choked down at the same time. Tears were now falling freely down her cheeks, taking down the eyeliner and the mascara she had on as well.

How could it possibly hurt this much? It made no sense. She actually felt…lost and hopeless. Like she was falling apart, shattering into a million pieces. It hurt so badly, she thought she could never stop shaking. Of course, it didn't help that those damn fucking tears were still coming down.

And she didn't want to get over it. She wanted to stay there and just…sob her heart out. She hadn't done so in so very long. It almost felt good. But it didn't feel as good as being held tight in Finn's warm embrace.

**Fuck, Berry. No.**

But how could she not think of him? He had been hers for almost four months. Four perfect fucking months. And now…he wasn't.

Burying her face in her hands, she continued to let the tears fall. She missed him. She missed him so much, and it hadn't even been a week. If he felt the same way she did, then they were both screwed. She'd done this to him. She'd broken him.

She loved him. She loved him. She loved him.

* * *

_**R&R? Since I did what you lovelies asked?**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_**Seriously, it's the reviews that keep me wanting to continue this story. Keep them coming, and so will the chapters. Thank you, **__noro__**, **__evermoregleek__**, **__i-live-in-district-12__** :) Hope to see you reviewing each and every chapter! Looking forward! And yes, a Finn chapter, for those who asked. I've got a few ideas for this and how it's going to end. Maybe leave you off on a few cliff-hangers in the following chapters, just to make you all hold yours breaths ;) Happy reading!**_

* * *

The one thing he did when something upset him was make a video of something, and then play around with it on his laptop. It's been two weeks, and he's been working on the same video. It was a simple walk around the block, nothing major, but apparently, there was a lot of things he could do with the special effects. Apparently.

It was nearly four in the morning, and he couldn't sleep. That wasn't a surprise, considering he hadn't been able to sleep for a long time. His continuous train of thoughts were keeping him awake.

_How could this happen?_

_ Where did he go wrong?_

_ Why hadn't she given him time to say what he wanted to say?_

_ When would she learn to love herself like he loved her?_

None of his questions could be answered. She wasn't answering her phone or his texts. He'd even tried to see her on set, but he got kicked off. They said that if his name was Finn Hudson, then he wasn't authorized. Why was she so intent on keeping him in the dark? It wasn't fair.

They had never argued. He never disagreed with her, and she never disagreed with him. They respected each other. Were honest with each other. Nothing went wrong. She would tell him if something was bothering her. Every single damn time. So what the fuck happened here?

He hadn't smothered her. He knew he hadn't. Whenever he asked if she was happy, she replied with a prominent "yes", and he knew she wasn't lying. She was always a terrible liar.

He played the ten-minute video again, and just sat in silence while staring at his laptop screen. There was no phone call from any producer talking to him about his short film. That hope went down the drain as well. He was back to being a nothing. It was probably why she'd really left him. Because he was a nothing. She was a star with all the talent – the acting, the dancing, and even the singing.

All he had now was his camera. And what confidence she'd manage to build up for him was now torn down. He didn't want anything. He didn't even care that his stupid film wasn't good enough.

He couldn't watch it anymore. If he did, he thought he would go crazy. There had to be a more entertaining video on his laptop that he could –

_Rachel Mornings._

That's what one little file at the bottom was labeled. He remembered that morning. It was quite possibly one of his most favorite mornings in his entire life. Finn had woken up to the sound of piano playing, and when he stood in the doorway of the bedroom, he saw Rachel sitting at the kitchen table with a keyboard, playing a ridiculous tune she'd made up.

It was the day he found out she could play the piano and sing. She had a beautiful voice, too. One that could make the angels pale in comparison. It was when he pulled out his camera, and knew he wouldn't regret filming her.

_"Finn, come on! Turn that thing off! I refuse to do this if you're filming me!" she laughed, one of his most favorite sounds to hear._

_ "It's off! I swear!" _

_ "You big fat liar." But she turned and grinned at him. "Lucky for you, I happen to really like you, so I'll do this for you. Just this once."_

_ He grinned right back at her and held the camera steady. "Thank you, dearest." _

_ And she started playing "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, her voice beautifully completing the piano accompaniment. He filmed as he fingers flew across every key, and also filmed the emotion on her face as she sang. She meant every single word of it, that much was obvious. And he knew who she was singing it for. _

_ Once she finished, she turned to look at the camera with tear-filled eyes but a huge smile on her face. "I'm in love with you."_

_ Silence followed those words, and then the camera was put down on the table, and he took her in his arms, holding her tightly against him. While his back was towards the camera, her enormous grin was facing the camera, and she closed her eyes tightly as she hugged him right back. _

_ She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. But she loved it. She loved feeling like this. It was like…a constant adrenaline rush. It felt amazing. _

_ "I can't believe I caught that on camera!" he exclaimed, then kissed her soundly. She only giggled in return. "And where the hell did you get this thing? Weren't you supposed to be asleep next to me last night?"_

_ "I found it this morning, silly. You have nothing in your fridge, so I was going to get us some breakfast. The guy at the café rhetorically asked me if I wanted a keyboard, and I surprised him by saying I'll take it. For _free_," she said, emphasizing the last word. Clearly, she was proud of herself._

_ He gave her a teasing look. "Wow. I should get you to get me breakfast more often. Maybe you'll find me a newer version of my EX3. For. Free."_

_ "Oh, ha. Ha." But she couldn't wipe that smile off her face. "Make fun all you want. I know you're secretly happy that now I can sing you awake every morning."_

_ "Oh, sweetheart. You don't need to sing me awake every morning. I'm awake…even before I'm awake," he said with a wink. "You know Finn Junior can never wait for the rest of me to actually want to wake up."_

_ "That's because Finn Junior knows who takes good care of him," she replied with a smirk. _

_ "You know…speaking of Finn Junior…" He returned that smirk, and lifted her up onto the island counter, and blindly reached to turn off the camera. _

Biting his lip, and hating himself for the tears that were trailing down his face, he pressed the replay button. She was so beautiful. So amazing. He remembered that morning like it just happened. He remembered her voice when she sang that song for him, and the way her fingers flew across the keys.

He even remembered how amazing the sex had been right after that. They'd gone two rounds before realizing they needed showers to clean up for the day, and ended up having another mind-blowing round there, too.

She had been right. Sex was addicting. And it seemed even more addicting when the person he was having sex with was the person he loved. It wasn't even sex. It was…something wonderful. Beautiful. Amazing. It was special, for both him and for her. She'd told him that for the first time, she was doing it with someone she cared a lot about, and that was why it was special.

That night, he promised her that he would never break up with her. He said that fate brought them together for a reason, and he was more than happy to let fate do its thing. He was happy with her, happier than he thought could ever be possible for him.

She'd promised him the same thing.

It was clear that they both confirmed wanting to spend the rest of their lives together.

He'd never made her choose between her job and him. He said that if she wanted to choose, that was fine with him, but he wouldn't make her. He just wanted her happy.

He didn't think she would choose her job.

And that thought _killed _him. She may as well have literally ripped his heart out from his chest, and stomped all over it. Or cut it into little tiny pieces. Made no difference. He felt like shit, either way.

He loved her right. This couldn't have been his fault. She said it wasn't. That it was her. She wasn't good enough for him. What the hell did that even mean?

She'd ask him if it bothered him, what she was doing, and he'd answer the same exact thing every single time. _No_. Really, what else could he say? He wanted her to be happy. If her job made her happy, then who was he to take that away from her? He wasn't jealous. He knew that any sex she had for her films meant nothing to her. She did it, then got paid. She said she even faked it multiple times because it was all so meaningless.

How could he be upset with her about it? He loved her.

And now he felt empty without her. What was the point of his life now? What had he even been doing before he met her? He was a nobody. Just another human being breathing Los Angeles air. Messing around with some stupid videos he made to pass the time. He had absolutely nothing to live for.

He'd found that one thing he'd been searching for his entire life and began to live and breathe his every moment for her. And then she left him. She stepped out of his life just as suddenly as she walked in.

He didn't want to live anymore. It hurt too much.

But he knew that not living would mean there would be absolutely no chance at redemption. He knew she was hurting, too. And if she'd find out that he was gone, she would be completely destroyed. He knew she had not wanted to do it. She felt like she had to.

All because she didn't love herself the way that he loved her.

**_Rachel, please, just let me know you're okay. You don't need to call me. Even a blank text would be fine. I just…want to know you're okay. Please. I love you._**

**No, damn it!**

He'd hit send before he realized what he wrote to her. Explaining to her his mistake would only make things worse.

He did love her. It hadn't been a mistake. And it never was.

* * *

_Disclaimer: I WISH I owned "Chasing Cars", but it belongs to the wonderful band Snow Patrol. _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_**So...here is where the M rating begins. It's not extremely explicit and whatnot, but definitely an M rating. Also...kind of a cliffie. Hope no one minds. Mwahahahahaaaa ;) Happy reading, my devoted readers!**_

* * *

_"…so was that in our top ten?" _

_ "Fuck yes."_

_ "…top five?"_

_ "I'd give it…fourth place."_

_ She leaned up and peered at him. "Really? I thought maybe it was at least third."_

_ He raised an eyebrow at her. "That's because I made you come _hard _twice in a row. Seriously, I think the neighbors wear earplugs all the time now," he teased._

_ "I know…I may have a loud voice, but in my defense…you were _fantastic_. I mean, that tongue of yours is insanely talented. It _really _knows its way around."_

_ He bit his lip to keep from grinning too widely. It really boosted a man's confidence when his girlfriend told him he was amazing in bed. _

_ Propping herself up on an elbow, she gave him a smirk, then let her free hand slowly slide down his chest. "So…what do you think about making it reach third place in your book, too?"_

_ "And how are you going to do"- Immediately, he froze, and then a soft groan followed. Her hand had trailed dangerously low, and he felt a twitch down there._

_ She knew exactly how to make him beg when she was determined to give him a big finale and have him end with a loud bang. It wasn't only his mouth that was insanely talented. She was skilled in every which way._

_ "So…is that a…no?" she teased as a finger ran down his length, and bit her lip when he slightly shifted his hips towards her._

_ "Let's…let's make it reach…third…" _

_ She giggled, knowing that ever since she corrupted him, he's been like a kid at Christmas every time sex was involved. But she absolutely loved hearing him moan, and usually it was her name. _

_ This time, she began stroking him, from top to bottom. He was huge when he _wasn't _hard. When he was? Even _she _got turned on, just looking at what she could do to him. His body reacted extremely positively to this, and she watched him swell up the more she stroked him._

_ Suddenly, she used her fingernails to tease him, and his moan immediately got louder. He began to buck his hips upwards._

_ "Getting impatient, aren't we?" her kitten voice inquired, and she stopped her hand movements. _

_ "Don't stop…please…" _

_ "I think…you can be better than that with the begging, don't you?"_

_ He almost hated it when she teased him like this. Almost. But his body was aching for more, and his cock was seriously all but begging. "Please. _Please_…"_

_ Upon hearing the desperation in his voice, the corner of her mouth twitched upwards in a smirk, and she began stroking him again, biting her lip as she watched him continue to grow. His breathing was getting irregular, and she teased his tip, spreading the moisture around a bit. She knew he wanted her to use her tongue, but he was going to have to do better than that with the pleading._

_ "T-tongue…please…"_

_ "Mm…you are getting awfully big and hard…" she said, teasingly. _

_ "Please, I…beg you…Don't stop."_

_ How could she make him beg even further? She was weak when it came to him. Oh, so weak. With her tongue, she trailed down her abs, and slowly to his hard dick, using her teeth to move down to his tip. He moaned louder than before, and shut his eyes._

_ She took him in his mouth, not even able to fit it all in, and hummed as she moved up and down, using his teeth and tongue in the process. _

_ "Oh…R-Rachel...that feels so…I'm…I'm…"_

_ "Do _not_…come yet…Finn. If you come…this will be…your last happy ending." Of course, she didn't mean it. She never did. "Hold it."_

_ She continued the work she was doing, and hummed a bit deeply, holding his thighs steady. She knew he wouldn't last much longer._

_ "Rachel…"_

_ "Not yet. Hold it."_

_ She took her hand and massaged what part of him she couldn't take in her mouth, and she thought he would faint. One look, and she saw he was still breathing. But his cock began to tense up. _

_ Immediately, she took him out of her mouth, and squeezed him tightly, forcing him to hold it just a bit longer, before with a really loud moan, he erupted in her hand, and he erupted _hard_._

_ She pumped him a few more times until he was done, and then she wiped her hand clean with a wet wipe from the nightstand. She laid her head down on his chest, and looked up at him._

_ "…well?"_

_ He needed to caught his breath for a few moments. "…third. Definitely in…third. Fuck, Rachel. I thought I would…explode."_

_ "You technically did. And look." She glanced down his body. "He's a happy camper." She winked at him, then placed a kiss on his chin._

_ "Fuck, so am I. That felt…so amazing. Thank…you."_

_ "You're welcome." She smiled at him._

_ Despite what her job was, she felt like she was doing these things for about as long as he was. It was amazing what being in love with someone did to a person. She was pleased with herself for being able to please her boyfriend so well. _

_ "I love you."_

_ When she looked up at him, he was grinning at her. She knew it wasn't the blowjob speaking. It was Finn's heart. He really, truly loved her. _

_ He felt so much, and yet, she couldn't find it in her to say it back. She tried. She really did. She didn't know what she felt. Happy was one word. She was really happy. _

_ But love?_

_ She didn't even know what the word meant._

She never told him. Why didn't she tell him? She was so fucking stupid. What the hell was wrong with him? She loved him beyond words. It was something she couldn't explain. She just knew that every time she thought of him, or saw him, her heart would swell, and be overcome with emotion. Something she'd never felt in her life.

That's how she knew it was love.

"Hey, Roxy, how would you feel about me fucking your brains out tonight?"

She turned and was shocked as what she heard, even though she was very used to hearing things like that. She didn't know who he was, but he looked like bad news. She was pissed. Angry. People shouldn't be stopping her and saying things like that.

"Get the fuck away from me, you fucking animal!" she screamed at him, getting attention from those around them, for which she was glad.

He winced, and slowly disappeared into the crowd. She stared him down until he did.

She was more that this. Finn told her that about as often as he told her he loved her. She was more than just…her body, and sex, and her porn films. She was better than this. Better than everyone who wanted her for her body, and those who watched her films.

She just wanted to hear him confirm it one more time. He always had the right things to say. He just knew what to tell her.

Sitting down at a café, she pulled out her sunglasses, and then her phone. At first, she'd gotten a dozen texts from him. All of them were apologies. Like this was all his fault. He wanted to know if she was okay. If there was anything he could do.

She didn't reply to a single text. A month had passed since his last text to her. He'd given up on her. She would have done the same thing. Nobody wanted to feel like they were chasing the wind.

_Hey._

**Really, Berry? Haven't said a word to him in two months, and that's the best you can come up with?**

She knew it was a long shot. He had no reason to even have her number still in his phone. But she needed to talk to him. She didn't want him to keep blaming himself.

**_Rachel._**

****Her heart nearly thumped out of her chest when she saw he'd answered her almost instantly.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_**Decided up it a notch and make it less boring for you lovely readers ;) More dialogue, and a lot of texting. Not dirty texting (I know we all wish that, don't we?), but it's texting, nevertheless. Oops! Sorry! ...I mean...spoiler alert? Happy reading! **_

* * *

He stared at his phone for a good five minutes as he looked at the conversation between him and Rachel. It was just a 'hey', and then a 'Rachel'. Why did he reply to her so quickly? Hell, why did he reply to her at all? She hadn't replied to him all those times he called and texted. She literally threw him off the set, without even being there. So why did she deserve to get a reply to something as impersonal as 'hey'?

Sighing, he locked his phone and leaned back on his couch. He knew why. He knew that if she were to text him even after two years, he'd answer her, and tell her the same thing he'd tell her now, if she asked. That he still loved her. Of course he did. She was the first person he fell for, and he was a strong believer in the fact that people only got one love.

Then, it hit him.

Duh, she wasn't texting him. She must have accidentally sent him a text. Must have meant it for someone else. Obviously. That's why it wasn't a 'hey, Finn', or…something. It was why she wasn't saying anything back. He was so stupid! Why did he write back?

_How are you?_

Once his phone sounded, he looked at it, then froze again. She replied.

So now the question was: Did she _really _reply to him, or was she just trying to cover up her mistake in accidentally texting him in the first place?

Why was he even trying to figure it out? He was a guy. Guys didn't care. Or think. Girls were the ones who read between the lines.

Unfortunately, he couldn't stop his train of thoughts. His heart was racing a million miles a minute.

**_Oh, I'm just wonderful. Hanging out at Club Margarita and I've got a couple of the hottest chicks I've ever met at my sides. _**

Finn stared at his screen again. He couldn't believe he just sent that to her. But maybe she deserved it. Maybe she shouldn't have broken up with him before giving him a chance to talk to her. Or giving them a chance to fix them.

_…I deserved that._

_**I'm not apologizing for it.**_

_I don't want you to. _

_**Then what DO you want, Rachel? Because I'd rather not talk to you if you're just going to sign off before letting me speak.**_

When she didn't reply to that for over ten minutes, Finn got worried that he'd offended her. Had that been too harsh?

No, harsh was dumping him. She'd given up on them. _That _was harsh.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for…all of it, Finn. I never meant to hurt you. Not like this. I was hurting you every single day, and I was scared, so I let go…of the most important thing in my life._

_**…you quit your job?**_

_No, Finn. I quit…you. Us. _

_**There is no us. There never was. You were never mine.**_

* * *

Every single text from him was a slap in the face. And she couldn't complain, either. She deserved every single remark. Hell, she deserved literal slaps in the face. She couldn't blame anything on him. None of this was his fault.

He was perfect, and she wasn't. So she ran away. Simple as that.

_Can I please call you? I'd rather not…do this over text._

His reply came immediately. **_That's too bad. No._**

_Finn, please?_

_**I said no, Rachel. **_

Her lower lip trembled, and tears threatened to fall. She was so angry with herself. So frustrated. She was a coward. A coward who didn't even have the spine to take what she deserved. She was pathetic.

_Tell me what I can do, Finn. Please. How can I make it up to you?_

_**I mean, you can always come over and give me a lap dance.**_

The phone slipped from her fingers, and she thought she heard her heart shatter. Finn had never said anything like that to her. He most likely never even thought such a thing. He would have never used her job against her like that. She'd never been a whore, a slut, a stripper, or a prostitute to him. She was just…Rachel Berry.

A sob escaped her throat as she shakily picked up her phone again. This was how she knew he was upset with her beyond comprehension. And it wasn't even angry upset. It was that, and every other kind of upset someone can feel, possible, mixed together. This was a part of Finn Rachel never wanted to know. A heartbroken Finn was worse than being homeless. And that's saying a lot from someone who grew up in Beverly Hills.

_I don't know how else I can apologize to you. To prove to you that…I am still completely and utterly in love with you. _

_**You know what, Rachel? That ship has sailed. You could have stayed. You could have talked to me about how you were feeling. We could have worked things out. But no. You dump me, and then start feeling sorry for yourself. I'm sorry, but even I have more respect for myself than how much you had for me.**_

_Please, Finn. Please._

_**Please WHAT, Rachel? Please accept your apology? Please…let you in my life again, only to have you crush again the way you did? I'm disappointed in you. I thought that after four months, you would learn to love yourself the way I've loved you. Every part of you. I've told you a million times that you are so much better than who you think you are. It hasn't helped. At all. If my love…can't help you, then I think the only person who can help you, is yourself.**_

_I don't know how to help myself._

_**I can't tell you how to do that. And I also can't tell you how to make it up to me. That's all on you. It's your move, Rachel. **_

_Can I at least…talk to you again?_

_**When you have something to say that's worth my time? Sure. Until then…don't keep stomping on the pieces, because it really does hurt more than you probably thought it would.**_

_Finn…_

But he never replied. She spent nearly an hour at that café, tears streaming down her face and with the phone in her hand. He never replied. He'd seen the text, but that was it.

Now she understood how badly she'd hurt him.

* * *

He couldn't believe all the things he'd said to her. He actually sounded mean without being mean. He felt like for the first time ever, he stood his ground. Didn't just give in and blame himself for everything wrong that happened in the world, and took the punishment like he deserved it. He told her what she needed to hear. What would help her before being ready for anything serious again.

There was a pang on guilt that he felt, but that was most likely from never standing up the way he just did. And to Rachel, too. His ex-girlfriend. Four months ago, he didn't even know he'd ever have a girlfriend, much less, an ex-girlfriend. My, how the tides have turned.

He had nothing more to say to her. Nothing that he knew would help her. Only she could figure out her shit. He couldn't do that for her. All he could do was support her, even if he wasn't actually speaking to her. He knew that she could do it. She was smart.

"Hello?" Finn answered his ringing phone. For a moment, he thought it was Rachel, and immediately began to think of what to say. He was glad to see the number wasn't one he recognized.

"Finn Hudson?"

"…yes?"

"My name is Carl. Carl Manning. I'm a publicity manager."

"Like…for what?" It had to be about his movie. It just had to be.

"For talent. Listen, kid, that video of your girl. The one you posted and became an internet sensation? I want her. As my new client. And I want you, too. I want the both of you. Your camerawork is _golden_, and with her voice? She could be even bigger than Lady Gaga and Beyonce right now."

Finn thought he was dreaming. This couldn't be real. "How'd you get my number?"

"I work in Hollywood. You really don't think I could get someone's number?"

He posted it to youtube. On his youtube channel. Because he posted most of his best work there. How did the video of Rachel go viral? Of course, he hadn't checked his emails in days, so he probably wouldn't have known if a meteor would hit the earth, either.

"Finn?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Um…what exactly do you want me to do?"

"I want you to say yes, then call your girl and get her to say yes, too."

"I…I need time to think about it, Mr…Manning."

"Sure. Get all the time you need, kid. You got my number. Call me as soon as you possibly can, because I need an answer by the end of the week. No pressure, of course."

"Of course. Thank you. Uh…bye."

And with that, he hung up, then stared at his phone again. He felt like he just got punked. Only…he didn't think he did. Holy shit, a publicity manager had just called him. And he wants him. For his video work. And he wanted Rachel. For her musical talent.

He immediately texted Carl Manning Rachel's number. Finn couldn't be the one telling her this. It wasn't the right time, and this guy needed an answer ASAP.

This was so weird.

* * *

"What's this?" the director held up the piece of paper in his hand.

"My letter of resignation."

"You can't resign. You signed a contract. You can't leave until the film is finished," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck the movie. fuck the contract. I'm done with this. I can't do it anymore," she said, knowing that tears were soon going to be making an appearance.

"Is it the men? I know you said you weren't a fan of Lucas' technique, but you did great. And besides, I didn't hire anyone like him again. Although, it's a shame. His dick was _huge_. And it was real, too," Dex said with a nod.

Rachel's mind immediately flitted to Finn and _his _huge dick. **Damn it, Rachel, focus. "**It's not…the men, Dex. I'm finished. I'm done. I don't want to do porn anymore. It's stupid."

"I'll give you a raise!" he blurted out.

"I don't _want _a fucking raise, Dex! I _said _I'm _done_!" she cried out. "There are hundreds of girls lined up to do porn with you, and you know it. You don't need me. You have your beautiful men with the huge dicks, and those women who really want girl-on-girl action and aren't even playing for that team. You have it all. You don't need me."

"But…but it's so fucking hot when the girls make you scream your perfect lungs out…"

"So then find another girl who's able to make you blow your load by just watching her act. Hell, or a man who'll suck your dick while watching the girl. I don't fucking care! I'm _done_!" And before he could even get out another full sentence, she turned around and stomped away.

"But Rachel! Wait!"

She continued her way. She was sick of it. Sick of…seeing a new cock every day at work, and then finding out she'd have to make him orgasm in less than a minute, and in her mouth too. Sick of using her mouth and fingers to make other girls want to scream her name. She was sick of who she was. She didn't even want to hear about sex anymore.

Not unless it was Finn that she was having sex with.

She wanted just him. She didn't want anyone else. She wanted to be completely his. Mind, soul, and body. Just his.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_**This was a fun chapter to write! It was about to be super short, but then inspiration hit, and I brought in someone that you guys will love. You don't know her, new character I made up, but I hope you love her like I do ;) Happy reading!**_

* * *

She sat down at her piano, hands in her lap, and stared at the keys. For a good six or seven minutes. She hadn't played her piano in over two months. She felt like she didn't even know what music even was anymore. She hadn't felt like singing in such a long time, and she knew why.

She hadn't opened her mouth the entire day she was home. She didn't take any phone calls, or go out to eat, or anything. She hadn't been able to speak since the previous night, when she received the call that might have just changed her life.

Some agent guy wanted to represent her. Apparently, she was all over the internet. When she checked…she was. All articles led her to Finn's youtube channel. She didn't know what possessed him to post her on youtube, but she supposed it wasn't as insane as actually becoming internet famous.

Not only that, but she lived in Beverly Hills. Anything can happen in Beverly Hills.

The only problem was that she wasn't a musician. Sure, she could sing and even play the piano, but she couldn't write her own music. She would get stuck doing covers. Which was lame. She could probably hire someone to write songs for her, but that just didn't seem right. If she could play the piano and sing, she could damn well write a little song.

But nothing was coming to her. She had no inspiration. No motivation. Not even the idea that she could become famous in a good way was motivation enough.

**Come on, Berry. What are you feeling right now? …the better question might be, what are you **not **feeling?**

Sighing, she used her left hand to play G natural, then switched to E after a bit, then to C, D, then back to G.

She paused.

She could work something simple out, can't she? Those keys sounded good in a song together. Taking her right hand, she brought her fingers to G and D, switched to a simple D, then back to G and D. Then, she used her left hand, and put together the notes. It actually sounded _good_!

But she needed lyrics. Lyrics usually gave the song a meaning. What was she feeling?

Taking a pen and the notepad from the couch, she started spilling her thoughts. _It's easy to fall in love, but it's so hard to break somebody's heart. _Wow. It didn't sound half bad. Could she put it together with her music?

She tried it. Then opened her mouth and sang the lyrics, tweaking the melody a couple of times before repeating it over and over again.

It sounded good!

_What seemed like a good idea's turned into a battlefield. _

That was _exactly _what she was thinking and feeling. Weird how having to write a song brought those out in the open for her.

Her fingers played a G, then flew to an E, back to G, up to F#, G, up to the higher G, and then back to the lower, then resumed the original melody. She put it all together then, and for the first time in a long time, she smiled. It sounded good, and the lyrics made perfect sense to her.

Maybe she did have a chance in life even though she quit her job. And maybe this time, she would actually be appreciated and respected.

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. She's a porn star who got involved with you, and then broke up with you after four months, and now she wants you back." There was a long pause. "Are you fucking insane, Finn Hudson?!"

He winced a bit, then shrugged slightly.

"No! No…doing any of that shoulder gesturing you so love doing when you have nothing good to say. I hope you told her to fuck off. You are so much better than that, Finn! You can win a fucking queen over. You can do way better than a porn star."

Alexandra was quite the spirited young woman. She was barely at the age of twenty, and she was convinced that the world should bow down to her, simply because she thought she was awesome. She was one of those girls who usually dressed according to the way she was feeling that day. She was outspoken, loud, stubborn, and extremely bright.

She was also Finn's little sister, and his complete opposite, right down to the way she looked. She was a blonde, and had decided almost a year ago that she played for both teams, because both men and women were beautiful.

They weren't extremely close, since she traveled a lot, and preferred doing her semesters abroad, but when she came home, she loved to spend her time with her brother. Also loved meddling in his affairs and giving him advice about his personal life.

"She's not…just a porn star. That…doesn't even have anything to do with why I love her"-

"Shut the front door. You _love_ her?" She snapped with her fingers right in his face. "Earth to Finn, earth to Finn. Come in, Finn. She has sex with men and women at work every day. You really think she's having sex, and thinking about you so that she can orgasm?"

Finn's heartbeat quickened. Oh, God, he'd always hoped so. It was a hot thought, too. That she had to think of him to actually…No, he couldn't do this right now. "Alex…I know it doesn't make any sense to you, but it does to me. She's not…who everyone thinks she is. She's so much more. She deserves to have so much, and yet sees herself as…nothing. And she's not nothing."

Alex was staring at him like he'd completely lost his mind. "She's a porn star. That's…degrading, Finn. That's something she chose to do."

"I know she did. Because she didn't think she could do better. But she can. She's really talented"-

"Yeah, I don't think having a nice body and being good at sex is a talent, Finn."

"Alexandra, stop that right now. Rachel's an amazing person. She's kind, and she's so wonderful, and warm, and…she thinks of others all the time, and she's gotten me to be less quiet and shy. I didn't ask her to. She said it was the least she could do for me. I…tutored her when she was a high school junior, and I was in college. She…had a crush on me in high school. She's…she's really amazing, Alex."

"If she was so amazing, then why did she dump your ass, Finn?"

"Because…" his voice trailed off. He knew why, and it made him sad. "Because she never loved herself to way that I love her."

"Love?"

"Loved," he immediately corrected.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, don't even try, Finn. I know you still love her. You look sad…talking about her." Alex sighed. "What's her name? Rachel what?"

"Berry. Rachel Berry."

"Can…I see?"

Finn nodded, and pulled out his phone. He got to his pictures, then showed Alex one of him and Rachel. Alex grabbed the phone and gasped loudly.

"_You were dating Roxy Starr?!_ Holy mother of fucking, Finn! You are so fucking lucky!"

Finn blushed a bit when he felt the eyes of everyone at the restaurant on them. Didn't help that any derivatives of the "f" word was Alex's favorite noun, verb, and adjective. "I'd offer a microphone, but I think you got it covered without one."

"I'm sorry, but…Roxy fucking Starr. It's…Roxy Starr. Fuck, Finn!" She went through the photos. "Oh, dear God, she's so fucking hot. What I would give to fall into bed with her. Is she really as amazing in real life as they say she is in her films?"

"Alex!" he hissed. "Even if I knew how she was in her films, I wouldn't tell you."

Alex blinked. "You never…saw…Oh, dear goodness, you are so innocent, it hurts. Just _watching _her would make you explode. Like fifty times. She's amazing."

"I…I…" Finn needed to take deep breaths to forget just for a moment what sex felt like with her. The way she knew exactly what he needed, every single time. How her hands could make him fall apart in less than a minute. He felt his cock twitch in his pants. **Fuck, Finn. No, stop. **"I don't want to watch her films. She's an actual person. She's not…she's not what she is in her films. She's a real person with…a real heart."

"And a fucking real body, too." Sighing, Alex slowly handed Finn back his phone. "Why couldn't I have seen her first?"

"Okay, it's really weird being into the same girl as my sister. Stop that. Right now."

"Can't help it. She's so sexy. Why didn't you even introduce her to me? Or mention her to me? I would have died to meet her. What kind of a brother are you?"

"Alexandra Hudson."

"That is my name."

"Quit it. I'm serious. Her name's Rachel Berry. And she's a normal person. And I love her." And he really was serious. He didn't know what to do anymore. And he didn't need his sister talking about how hot Rachel was as her alter ego in her films. Didn't help the least bit.

Alex sighed loudly. "Okay, okay. What do you want me to do?"

"Help me out here. We talked for the first time yesterday. Only over text, though. I told her to get her shit together. She apologized and said I didn't understand. And…when she had something worth saying, to get back to me. Was I…harsh? I feel like I was a little mean."

Alex immediately shook her head. "Fuck, no. Not harsh. She's a girl. Girls need to be treated like that sometimes to get themselves together. Nothing you say can get her to think for herself, and what she needs is time to think."

"It's been two months. I'd like to think she thought a whole lot until now."

"Not if she texted you. She's not over you, clearly. And if she was the one who broke up with you, it means she's got the issues, and she knows it. She needs to get past them, and then finally see who you were to her. It'll take time."

"How much time do girls take?"

She paused. "…I'd rather not answer that question."

Finn groaned. "It's going to be a while, isn't it." He already knew the answer.

"Let's just say…that when she's finished with her meditation period, she's going to start picking herself up and realizing why you said what you said to her."

Sometimes, Alex was a headache. But other times, she gave great advice. It helped that she was a girl, and gave him girl insight that he didn't know. Girls were complicated. Finn needed them explained every once in a while.

"Thanks, Alex."

"Anytime, Finn," she said, offering him a smile. "So tell me, what else is new? Other than your sex goddess ex girlfriend, of course." She took a sip from her tea.

"I…got called for a video I posted on youtube. Apparently, my camerawork was amazing, and…I have a publicity manager."

Alex spit out her mouthful of tea all over the floor, again receiving looks from everyone around them. "Holy fuck, Finn, and you only fucking tell me now?! Were you _dropped _on your head recently?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Oh, he'd definitely missed his sister.

* * *

_**Alex is actually AU Finn's sister on the Glee role-play I'm on. Naturally, I play Finn ;) Also?**_

_**Disclaimer: "Battlefield" by Lea Michele. Do not own it. I just am madly in love with the song, hence why it's the title of this fanfic. **_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! You guys will be pleased to know that good things are coming up in later chapters. Wonderful things, in fact. ;) Enjoy!**_

* * *

What sucked about being single was the "plus one" invitations to weddings he'd film. He went to them alone most of the time, but the way the bride and groom would sympathetically look at him, made him feel stupid.

So, he'd bring Alex.

Not for fear of being called a loser, of course. He clearly needed an assistant to help him out with the filming.

He wore his darkest pair of jeans, and put on a crisp white button down, topped with an elbow-length gray suit jacket. His hair was a bit wilder, spiked some tips with gel (all thanks to his sister for that, of course), and he was wearing his best cologne.

He heard that a few of the biggest Hollywood producers were going to be attending that wedding, and he needed to look his best. Carl Manning, his publicist was also putting him on a test run before actually hiring him.

Weddings were easy. Just film everything. That's what the mothers of the bride and groom always asked for, and it's what the groom and bride would want to see in thirty years from the present. They wanted to relive the entire day. And Finn was the guy who was going to make sure they don't forget any details of their day.

"Finn…I don't get why you need all of this equipment," came Alex's voice from behind him. She was struggling with the tripods and the extra lenses he'd asked her to get for him. "I don't think they give a fuck if you film on this three-legged stand, or on this other three-legged stand."

He snickered, helping her. "No, but I do. And please, Alex…language. I don't mind it, but I'd rather not record you say it every other word."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, boss." Alex paused. "I am getting paid for this, right? Because I had to say no to hanging out with Julie for you."

"That's because you love me enough to help me out." He began to set up his camera. "And yes, sis, you are getting forty percent of the cut. We already talked about this."

"Just making sure. Detail is important to me. Like these gorgeous red roses, and the oceanview in the background, and the silk ribbons, and _oh dear sweet baby Jesus, it's Roxy Starr_."

"Alex, come on, I know what you're trying to do, I told you that I told her she needs to figure it all out before she"-

"Fuck, maybe you don't want her anymore, but I sure do," Alex said, already taking off.

Finn only had to glance up to see that his sister had been telling the truth. There was Rachel in a beautiful red dress, looking as gorgeous as ever. His heart stopped. Until he realized he had to stop Alex. So he quickly ran up ahead and grabbed Alex's arm.

"Finn, what are you doing? Let go."

"No, you…you can't go talk to her, Alex."

"Why not? She doesn't even know me. She doesn't know I'm your sister. She's hot. And she came alone. Do the math, Finn." Alex turned to glance at Rachel, who was now talking to one of the guests. She then looked back at her brother. "Oh, goodness. She's even hotter in person. Please, please, _please _let me go talk to her. I'll do anything. I'll give you all my shoes."

Finn made a face. "I…don't want your shoes, Lex. Trust me. You…don't need to give me anything, just…promise me you won't mention me to her."

"You're the cameraman, Finn, she's definitely going to know you're here."

"I know, but…just promise me."

"Fine, fine, I promise. Now, can I go?"

She literally looked and acted like a kid at Christmas. Alex did not only have the mouth of a sailor, but she also had the mind of one too. She went for almost anything that lived and breathed. Didn't necessarily sleep with them, but definitely was always on the prowl.

Sighing, he nodded. "Go. And don't scare her. You tend to scare the nice people away."

"I do _not_." But when he let go of her hand, she took off, in her high heels and all. "Hi! My name's Alex! What's yours? No, wait, don't tell me! I know your name. Rachel Berry! Hi!"

Rachel could only stare back with her mouth slightly agape at the blonde girl who was acting super giddy. It took her a moment to get words to come out. "Um…you're a fan, I'd guess."

"_Huge _fan. I mean…okay. Sorry, I'm a little starstruck here. I'll be fine in just a bit. I just really wanted to meet you. It's an honor to meet you. It really is. You're so wonderful. I can't believe I'm talking to you right now. And making myself look so stupid. I'm sorry."

Rachel couldn't help but giggle at this. "No, no, it's okay. Really. You're funny, I like you. Alex, was it?"

Nods quickly. "Alexandra Hudson, really." Then, she froze. "I mean…Hudson's my middle name. Alexandra Hudson…Smith."

Rachel raised an eyebrow at her. "Now try to convince me to believe you."

"Fuck! I mean…damn it!"

"You're Finn's sister."

"He told you about me?"

"Not a whole not," the small brunette said, shaking her head. "But he mentioned he had a sister named Alex. And she's got a potty mouth. And she talks a lot. But that part, I don't mind so much. Makes for interesting conversations." She paused. "Is…uh…is he here?"

Alex couldn't lie her way out of this one. Rachel was bound to see Finn at one point. "He's…yeah, he's the cameraman. I'm his assistant. Hence why I'm here. Not that I don't like going to weddings or anything. I love them. I just don't know these people. Not that I couldn't become friends with"-

"Alex."

"Yes?"

"Seriously, just be yourself. Chill out. I'm human. Just like you."

Alex nodded. "Right. Okay. I'm cool. I promise."

"Good. So tell about…" Rachel stopped. She couldn't ask Finn's sister about Finn. That was just too weird. It was kind of awkward, too. Alex most likely knew nothing about what happened between the two of them.

"Finn? Um…what do you want to know?" inquired the blonde.

"Finn Hudson, my cameraman! Get your ass over here and come be with your girl!"

"…or you can just ask him yourself?"

Carl Manning was motioning for Finn to where he, Rachel, and Alex now were. Finn really had been hoping to avoid this part of the wedding. The actual socializing.

He sighed and took his camera with him as he made his way over to the group of three. "Yeah, Carl?"

"Rachel arrived and you didn't even notice! What the hell is wrong with you, boy? You need to be a better boyfriend to her." The older man grinned at Rachel. "This beautiful angel deserves to be treated like the star that she is."

Finn looked at Alex, who gave him an apologetic look, and then at Rachel, who wasn't even looking at him. "Hey, Rach."

She loved it when he called her that. Unfortunately, she'd never told him that, either. It wasn't Finn who was the bad boyfriend. She'd been a terrible girlfriend to him.

It took her a few moments before she could look up at him and meet his eyes. They looked sad, and she knew why. He always held so much emotion in his eyes. She loved his eyes, too. "Hey," was all she could reply.

"Come on, come on, kids, time to make up and kiss. Don't be like that. We've got a wedding that needs to be filmed. Come on, seriously, I won't go anywhere until you kiss. Need to see some tongue there, too," Carl encouraged them, checking his watch.

Oh, well, now this was awkward. Carl didn't know they weren't together anymore. Or even had been when he took up both Finn and Rachel as clients. And giving their publicist any notion that they couldn't be together at events and such might make him drop one or the other. Finn and Rachel came in like a package deal. It was both or neither.

And their publicist was also really not going to leave unless they kissed. And with tongue.

Sighing softly, Finn stepped closer to Rachel, and then leaned down, kissing her softly.

"Tongue action. Come on."

Alex's eyes simply widened.

But they didn't even need to be reminded about the whole tongue thing. Once their lips met, it was like there was no stopping them. Their senses were awakened, and the kiss got more and more heated. It wasn't long before their tongues began to battle each other, and they found themselves gasping for air when they broke away, eyes wide, and breaths heavy.

Alex's jaw was already dropped.

"Damn, I would have loved to see you two in a movie. Shame you quit, Rachel. See you two kids in a bit." Carl then took off to go mingle some more before the wedding, leaving the three of them in silence.

Until Alex broke it, of course. "I'm just…I'm just…I'm just…going to go. Over there." She motioned randomly with her thumb, then disappeared.

Finn and Rachel still had their gazes locked. He saw her glance at his lips, but neither of them made another move.

It was Finn, then, who cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, and stepped back. "Um…you look…you look really…beautiful." **Bad word to use now, Hudson. **

A blush crept onto her face. "Thank you…Finn. You look…really handsome."

"Thank you."

The continued to stare at one another, however. Finn really wanted to kiss her again. It didn't help that his body had reacted extremely positive to their passionate lip-lock. It's been two months since anything turned him on, and this kiss with Rachel? Definitely doing wonders for him. And he was doing all he could to keep it from being too obvious.

"So, I should…I should go. I have…to film." There was nothing more they could say. They couldn't seem to get any words to come out of their mouths.

She nodded slowly. "And I…have to go sit. Um…I'll catch you later?"

"I suppose so. While I'm on…a break."

"Got it. Bye." And she took off.

Finn let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He'd just kissed her. And it wasn't just a kiss. It was one of those…beginning to a really good makeout session kind of kiss. And it seemed to be the only thing he could think about now. She looked extremely sexy in her dress, and she'd responded positively to his kiss. Even Carl bought it. Anyone would have.

Finn had one problem now. His pants were getting a little tight, and there seemed to be nothing in the world he could think about that would get those pants to loosen back up again.

Then, it hit him. Did Carl say Rachel quit?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_**My lovelies, this chapter was absolutely delightful to write, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do! I'd spoil it right now for you, but...where's the fun in that? ;) Happy reading!**_

* * *

Seven hours, four tapes, and one drunk Alex later, Finn had been let off the hook for the wedding. He would get paid when he was finished editing, and that would only take a couple of days. He loved what he did, had tons of fun doing it, and got paid quite a bit.

Just then, he saw Alex throw up on the trash can in the corner.

He definitely did not get paid enough for that.

"Come on, Lex, time to get you home," he said, taking his sister by the hand before slipping an arm around her waist and helping her to the door, and grabbing his bag.

"Don't tell…Mom and Dad," she slurred, stumbling.

"I won't. I'll take you to my place tonight, and then you can go home tomorrow." Finn sighed, shaking his head. How did Alex get herself in these messes all the time? He could have sworn she didn't have anything to drink. She should know better than to, anyway.

"I don't…I don't feel good, Finn…"

It was still really early, and all of the Hollywood hot shots were still partying. Finn was definitely going to return. He'd make sure Alex was comfortable and asleep before hurrying back. This was his chance to put himself out there. Carl was still around there, striking up conversations with everyone, but he hadn't told Finn anything yet.

And Finn really wanted to get his films noticed, not his camerawork. That was his dream his entire life. He wanted to be a movie maker, even if he had to do a hundred weddings before finally getting an offer.

Alex was wasted, and it was a little difficult getting to the elevator with her up to the fifth floor when she refused to be picked up. But by the time the elevator doors opened to his floor, he took her in his arms, and didn't allow her to say a word about it. She couldn't even walk. That's how wasted she was.

"Alexandra Hudson, what did you even drink?" he asked rhetorically, shaking his head as he blindly unlocked the door to his apartment.

"Spiked…punch. Lots and lots of spiked punch," she answered right back.

Of course the punch had been spiked. It was a wedding. Nobody wanted a nonalcoholic drink at a wedding. That's what the open bar was for, apparently.

Alex began mumbling to herself, and Finn finally unlocked the door, then closed it behind them with his foot. Now he remembered why he never went out to parties with Alex. She got drunk after a mere two glasses of wine, and then got _really _loud and obnoxious. And Finn was stuck being the one to take her home.

"Rachel was _sooo _fucking hot tonight, right Finny?"

He should have known that drunk Alex was going to talk about Rachel. "Sure, Alex." He set her down on his bed.

"And I saw how you _kissed_ her, too. You are _still _crazily and fuckingly in love with her. You _know _I'm right."

Sighing, Finn brought her the trash can from the kitchen, and a glass of water. "This is for in case you need to throw up again. And you have water here, too."

"Finn…" she whined.

"What is it, Alex?"

"Tell me you still love her."

He moved to tuck her into his bed.

"Finn!"

"What, Alex?"

"Tell me!"

Oh, God, her voice was annoying when she was drunk. "Go to sleep, Alex. I'll be back later."

"Tell me first…or I'm coming _with_!" she cried out giving him a stubborn look.

"You are _so _going to hate yourself in the morning." She continued giving him that look, and he gave in. "Fine, all right. I still love her. But that kiss didn't mean anything."

"Keep telling yourself that. You'll _never _believe that." But at least she lay back down and tugged the blanket to her chin.

"Good _night_, Alex."

"'Night, Finn!"

About five seconds after he closed the door to his room, he heard the sounds of her heaving into the trash can.

At least life with Alex never got boring.

He drove quickly back to the reception, hoping that no one important left yet. There was still an hour left before midnight, and – Oh, shit, he'd left his other camera bag at the reception!

The first thing he did when he arrived was run back to the table where he'd left his other bag, and was relieved to see it was still there. After he checked to make sure everything was still in there, he let out a breath of relief, and zipped it up again. Taking the bag on his shoulder, he looked around for someone he could go talk to. He saw a couple of producers, but they seemed to be in deep conversations, and he didn't want to interrupt them.

Above all of the chatting and the laughing, a beautiful sound hit his ears, and he turned his eyes to the stage.

Rachel.

_I wanna sing while the ocean sleeps._

_ I wanna feel what's like to be free._

_ I wanna see what you see in me._

_ I wanna know what it feels to believe._

He didn't know the song, but it was absolutely beautiful. She was amazing. It was all so perfect. So this was why she had attended the wedding. She was the entertainer. How had he not heard her until this moment?

Oh, right. He'd been far too busy with his camera and with keeping an eye on Alex. He'd filmed the bride and groom away from the reception as well. Made sense.

He quickly pulled out his camera and began recording her, moving closer to the stage.

_I feel lost; somehow I'm drifting away._

_ Was almost gone, but you brought me to life again._

As she was singing that line, she happened to glance right at Finn, and they locked eyes for a moment. Her eyes moved back to the piano.

_So let me be your lighthouse._

_ And I'll help you find a way out of here._

_ I see the tide is coming._

_ Don't let you away from me._

_ There's no way I'm jumping over,_

_ I know it's your love that saved me._

He wanted her to look at him again, so badly. It was like she was singing this for him to hear. Of course, that was stupid, because it's not like she chose the songs. The bride and groom did. Right?

There was this sharp pain he was feeling in his chest. He missed her. He really missed her.

_Cause I was lost, somehow I'm drifting away.  
Was almost gone, you brought me to life again._

_ So let me be your lighthouse.  
And I'll help you find a way out of here.  
I can see the light out  
From a far away out.  
But its slowly drifting away from me…_

She looked up again to look at him, and there was a tear halfway down her cheek when he looked back at her. She looked genuinely…sad. And that was breaking his heart, seeing her like this.

**No, Finn. You're angry with her. No time to be sympathetic now. She dumped you. For stupid reasons. **

_ Cause I was lost, somehow I'm drifting away.  
Was almost gone, you brought me to life again  
So let me be your lighthouse  
And I'll help you find a way out of here._  
_Let me be your lighthouse  
And I'll help you find a way out of here…_

Those who were slow dancing began to applaud, and Finn nearly forgot to stop his recording. His eyes never left Rachel, however. She smiled slightly for whoever had been paying attention to her, but she didn't glance at him.

Instead, she began to play Jon Secada's "If I Never Knew You". And every single word was a dagger to Finn's heart. There was no way she hadn't chosen these songs. They were too perfect for the two of them. Too perfect, and too painful.

He was watching her intently, as if there was nobody else in the room but the two of them. He shouldn't have come back. He didn't want to reopen any wounds. He was supposed to be moving past this. She was eventually going to get tired of begging him to forgive her and to just accept her, and he would eventually find someone else. Or just go back to being on his own.

Before the song could end, Finn dodged the people, and went out the back of the high tent, deciding to go out on his own and think about it. He took a deep breath before going out to his car to put down his camera, and then began walking down the pathway to the garden.

It was too much at once. Too many emotions. And he couldn't deal with them all so late in the night. He hadn't had a single drop of alcohol and yet he felt like his head was spinning. A million thoughts were racing through his mind.

"Finn."

He stopped walking. He'd definitely heard his name being called. And by that voice, too. It rang loudly in his ears. He was almost afraid to turn.

He didn't have to. She was already standing in front of him, looking at him…almost expectantly. And he couldn't look away from her.

No words were said for a good thirty seconds. Laughter could be heard from the reception, but all Finn could see was her beautiful eyes. Her beautiful, searching eyes.

Almost immediately, she stood up on her tiptoes and met his lips in a passionate kiss. He didn't pull back. In fact, he kissed her right back, and even stepped closer to her, resting his hands on her hips.

It wasn't long before their tongues began to fight for dominance, and she elicited a soft moan. Her hands moved up his chest, and then her fingers grabbed the lapels of his jacket, tugging him even closer.

Their kiss became more and more heated and desperate, even more so than the one earlier that day. Then, Rachel pulled back for more air, and both her gasping for a few seconds. And Finn really let only a few pass before he leaned down and kissed her again, his hands moving up and down her sides before one stopped at her breast, and he teased a hardened nipple with his thumb through her dress for a bit, causing her to groan in his mouth.

They pulled back again, and Finn could see her hooded eyes, even in the darkness of the night. Finn's tell was a lot easier to see, however, and Rachel's hand brushed down to the bulge in his pants.

"I want you," she said huskily.

"I want you, too," he replied simply, his eyes never once leaving hers.

* * *

_**Disclaimer: I do NOT own "Lighthouse" by Hope, nor do I own "If I Never Knew You" by Jon Secada. They were just convenient songs for this chapter . .**_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_**All right, my lovely readers, this is the moment you've all been waiting for...*drumroll* SMUTTY SMUTNESS! And it's smexy, too. Get ready to jump into your cold showers. ;) **_

* * *

They hadn't even arrived properly at her condo, and they already had their tongues down each other's throats. It was quiet that night. Quiet, except for the moans that they were producing. And it was so damn difficult to keep quiet, too, when it all felt so wonderful.

It felt familiar.

And two months of no sex from anyone could do that to a person.

Once she got the door unlocked, they entered, and when the door closed, he pushed her against the door, once again kissing her deeply.

There was no going back from here, Finn knew. His mind was telling him to stop while he still could. But the thing was…he knew he couldn't. His body had betrayed him a long time ago, and if he stopped now, he wouldn't even be able to make it all the way home without fixing his issue.

Damn her for introducing him to this world. This addicting, delicious, and tempting world of sex.

Soon, his jacket was on the floor, and his white button down joined it is just a few moments. He could see her eyes look at him hungrily, and she brought her hands to his chest, sliding them down slowly to feel every single one of the muscles in his toned chest and abdomen. But before her hands could reach his pants, he used his hands to unzip her red dress in one swift motion, tugging the sleeves down, and revealing a black lace bra, that made Finn harder than he already was.

Her hand cupped his harness through his pants, and he groaned as she teased him for a bit by brushing her fingers back and forth. He took a breast in his hand and began to squeeze, tease, and massage it, and he received a moan in return. He continued doing so until she finally couldn't take it anymore, shifted completely out of her dress, then put her fingers to good use and undid his jeans, shoving them down to the floor and making him step out of them.

She could see his erection clearly through his boxers, and she knew that wasn't the biggest it's ever been. Biting her lip, she tugged him towards her bedroom, but stopped in the hallway when she shoved him against the wall and moved her hand down his torso to the part of him that was always really happy to see her. She continued teasing him through his boxers, and it was because she enjoyed watching him groan and squirm. As long as she had that hold over him, he was putty in her hands, and that was a huge turn on for her.

Finally, she hooked her thumbs into his boxers, and gave them a shove down, finally freeing his hard erection. Oh, he was bigger than before, but still not quite there yet. She would know. When she looked up at him, his eyes were darker than they'd ever been. He _really _wanted her. Well, good, because once he got his apology, she was going to be rewarded. She knew it.

Her hands gripped him, and began to rub him slowly. His breath hitched. Teasingly, she pushed her lingerie-clad body into him and began to grind into him, causing him to remember to breathe and to let out another groan. But his body encouraged her by moving against her, too. Soon, he couldn't do that anymore, and he reached his own hand down to his cock to relieve some tension. She didn't let him, however, and removed his hand.

"Please…" he begged.

She placed her own hand there now, and squeezed him, then began to rub him again, this time a bit more quickly than before. "Look at that hard cock. I think you can do…better than that, though…" She used both of her hands again, and began to rub him, feeling his cock swell up even more. She loved what she could do to him. It drove her crazy to know that her small self was a huge turn-on for him. She was way past wet.

There was no way he would last much longer. He couldn't. He'd been aching to be touched by here again, kissed with a fiery passion, and just…_be _with her. It physically had been painful.

That was when she went down on him. His breathing began more ragged as she began using her tongue, and then her teeth for more friction. Her thumbs were massaging the inside of his thighs, and immediately, his hips began bucking, pushing himself further into her mouth. He needed her.

"I'm…I'm going to…come, Rachel…stop, please…" And as much as he wanted to come in her mouth, he couldn't. He needed _her_.

When she didn't stop, he pulled out of her mouth with a growl, and for a moment, she looked confused. But there was no time to explain now. He needed to desperately soothe the throbbing between his legs. He picked her up so that she could wrap her legs around his waist, and then undid her bra, sliding it off as he entered her bedroom and dropped her onto the bed. By that time, she had already given him a dirty hickey on his collarbone, and he felt like his cock was going to explode at any second.

"Off…off." He immediately moved his hands to her panties, and shoved them off, tossing them aside before rubbing himself a little to keep himself from coming just yet.

Maybe he should have just let her give him the blowjob and finish. There was no way he'd last long enough to give her the pleasure too. So, he changed the plan.

Without warning, he slid two fingers into her, receiving a moan from her, and then grabbed his cock. He had to. He reached in as deeply as his fingers would go, and then began to push in and out as quickly as he could. It wasn't long before she was whimpering, and he was rubbing himself quicker and quicker.

The quicker his fingers moved, the louder she got, and then her back was arching up from the bed, meeting his every move. He pushed in a third finger, as his breathing began to get more and more ragged, and just then, she leaned up, moaning at what the shift did to her, and then bent over to take his very hard and very swollen dick in her mouth. The second she began to suck, he tensed, and then came hard, shooting hot cum down her throat, which set her off too. She climaxed just moments after he did, screaming his name as her body spasmed.

Although, they both knew this wasn't finished. He began to rub his cock again, not even allowing it to get flaccid. She immediately reached into the drawer of her nightstand, and pulled out a condom, tearing it with her teeth before taking Finn into her hand (he moaned at her touch, of course), and pumping him a bit before rolling on the condom. It wasn't long before he could feel there was another urge, and he immediately pushed his body into hers, sliding into her. Both of their moans filled the air.

Once he started a quick pace for them, she started to whimper again, which was her way of telling him she needed more. He refused, however, to listen to that. He needed verbal encouragement, even if he had to suffer a little before he got it. Instead, he went slower.

"Finn…" she groaned, arching her hips to increase the friction again. He bit back a moan. "I need you…Finn. Now. Please. I n-need…you…"

Hearing her beg him urged him to pick up the pace again. He pushed into her, harder and harder, and loved that her moans weren't ceasing.

"Just…like that. Don't…don't stop."

"Does that…feel good, baby?" He was surprised to hear his voice, but he'd always found talking during sex appealing. Even if it wasn't super dirty talk.

"Feels…_amazing_…"

He shifted their angle, spreading her legs further apart and that allowed him to go in deeper, hitting that bundle of nerves inside of her that caused her to see stars.

"Yes! _Yes_, Finn!" More moaning came from her, mixed in with Finn's as well.

He couldn't hold it back any more. "Oh…Rachel…" he groaned, using every ounce of his strength to move faster and to go as roughly as he could.

She shut her eyes tightly as her body arched into his movements. He leaned down and took her nipple into his mouth, sucking on it before biting at it, which caused her to scream even louder. He felt himself tense up, and knew just what that meant. **No, no, fuck, not yet, Hudson…But it feels so…**

He needed to continue to feel her. He didn't know when he'd get to do this again. They were most intimate at this point, when they were having sex. And it wasn't just…insanely mind-blowing. It was also special. It was something he'd never shared with anyone else, nor did he want to share with anyone else. She could make him feel so…on cloud nine, and he knew that from the sounds she was eliciting, he made her feel the same way. It wasn't just sex.

It was more than that.

"Oh…oh…" came from his mouth, and her very loud moans rang in his ears. There was no way he could hold it for any longer. He knew that from the way she kept tightening around him, then releasing, that she was trying to hold it too. So, he did them both a favor.

He moved a hand down to massage her clit, whilst still pounding into her, and they both were loud as they climaxed, she, screaming her orgasm, and he, coming hard into his condom.

Both of their bodies were shaking as he pulled out of her, and threw out his filled condom. She was gasping for air as she was trying to come down from her high, and his cock was still twitching from the pleasure it'd been put through.

He got off of her, and lay beside her, catching his breath. He couldn't remember the last time it was this good. Sure, she'd been able to make him come multiple times in one round, but…it wasn't ever this intense. Or desperate.

She turned her head to look at him, and he looked right back. They didn't say a word to each other for a while as they caught their breaths together. Finally, he shifted closer to her, and nudged his nose with hers before kissing her softly. She instantly began to kiss right back, and it wasn't long before their kisses got more and more heated. Again.

"Wait…wait…" She didn't stop, and his tongue was moving on its own accord into her mouth. "Wait, Rachel…" He pulled back.

She groaned softly. "Come on, Finn…Round two."

He wanted to tell her this had been a mistake. That it was his body that had done this to him. Not his mind. He didn't even know where his heart stood on the matter, and he was afraid to figure that one out. "No, Rachel…We shouldn't have done this."

She tilted her head at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" No, it wasn't a mistake. He knew it wasn't. "We're not ready for this, yet. Maybe our bodies are, but…our hearts aren't."

Once silence came from her part. "But, Finn…I quit for you."

"No, Rachel. I don't need you quitting for me. I need you quitting for yourself. Because _you _know you're better than that. Not because I do. Not because it'll make _me _happy."

"Finn, I – Of course…I did it for you. Because you deserve to have a girlfriend who's…available only for you. I couldn't do it anymore. You…you have to understand why I quit," she said, searching his eyes.

He considered her answer for a moment. "You have a talent, Rachel. And your talent doesn't involve sex. You were hired to sing at the reception. It's because you're _talented_. And you're going to be hired many more times because of this. You're…going to be famous one day, for your voice. And not for your body."

When he put it like that, she wasn't so badly to believe him. She felt like Finn could never lie to her, not even when he didn't know the future. He was the most honest and innocent man she'd ever known.

"Maybe if that day comes…I'll come and thank you for believing in me so much." She was looking at him with those beautiful eyes. How was he supposed to resist that?

Damn it, pillow talk wasn't good for his health. "Of course I believe in you, Rachel. You…believed in me and my stupid films."

She sat up and looked at him sternly. "They're not stupid. Don't you dare ever say that about your work." She softened up a bit. "You love your work."

"That's how I feel when you put yourself down. I don't want you to put yourself down. I want you to…love yourself. To…accept yourself," he leaned up as well, and looked at her. "This is why…we can't be here right now. We can't be in bed together. Not until you figure it all out. Until you learn to love who you are, and then accept that."

She was nodding slowly. "I understand. Completely." There was a silence between them, before she looked at him a bit slyly. "But you know...since we're already here, and our clothes are out there…"

When her hand reached his length, his breath hitched, and his cock twitched. His body was telling him it was time for round two. Who was he to deny his body what it wanted?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_**Sorry this chapter is so lame. Really. I feel bad. But this story needed to move along somehow, even with the boring and lame chapters. Next one will be better. I promise. And...if I get enough reviews, then...maybe some Finchel in the next chapter? **_

* * *

After her encounter(s) with Finn, she felt she was more inspired and motivated to continue songwriting. Sure, it was fun and easy to sing other people's songs, but Carl said she needed to be genuine. And that only ran as far as inspiration did. Which had been at level zero, until she saw Finn at the wedding.

It was refreshing, really. She needed it, both emotionally and physically. And now that she was feeling a lot better, she was back at the piano, with the notepad and pen in her hands.

_Once lust has turned to dust_

_ And all that's left's held breath_

_ Forgotten who we first met_

_ What seemed like a good idea's turned into a battlefield_

Grinning, she played both the first and the second stanza on the piano, and added the lyrics to it. It couldn't have sounded better. And not only that, but the song meant something to her, and it was her own creation. It was special, and she knew that only she and Finn could ever truly understand the message behind the words.

Taking a sip of coffee, she adjusted her reading glasses on her nose, then rolled up the sleeves to her button down again. Well, _Finn's _button down, actually.

What?

Just because she wasn't with him anymore didn't mean she couldn't keep one of his shirts, and then…sleep in it, or…songwrite in it. It was perfect on her. Reached just below her butt, and was extremely comfy. Besides, she would give it back when she got back with him.

Because there was no way Finn wasn't going to get back with her. She was doing all of this for him. She literally had quit her life for him. He couldn't just not see what she was doing for him.

_'You need to do it for you. Not for me.'_

Damn it. She could practically hear Finn in her head talking to her. And that was stupid of him to say that, because she obviously did things for him. Wanted to please him in all that she could. How could he think she would be selfish like that? She practically lived for him. And he wanted her to do it all for herself?

"That's dumb," she said aloud, and shook her head, before taking another sip of her coffee.

_We both know it's coming_

_ Does illusion count for something we hide?_

_ The surface tension's about to break_

_ One drop is all it takes to flood out this lie._

_ Ohh…_

**Oh, just fucking fantastic. My eyes are leaking.**

She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, and sniffed. She hated crying. It made her feel weak. And it's been happening a lot since she broke up with Finn. Clearly, the boy was special. The tears now? Were worth it.

The bridge needed a different melody, and she decided to play around with the notes she had already. It took a bit of thinking, but then she eventually got down a sequence, and it sounded well with what the stanzas had.

She couldn't wait to show Carl what she had until now. Maybe she would call him and play it for him. He was going to love her even more now.

At least she was only her way to being recognized for something honorable. Something anyone would love her for. And not just her. Her voice. She talent. And it had nothing to do with her body.

* * *

He couldn't get her voice out of his head. It was driving him crazy. It was like sex. The more he had of it, the more he wanted. And that sex had been…mind-blowing. Something he couldn't get out of his head, either. And his body liked to remind him of how awesome it had been, quite a few times a day.

Had to take cold showers to cool off. And when he couldn't get to a shower, he took care of it himself. Just imagined it was her talented hands, and it wasn't hard to get himself to relieve that tension. Now he just wanted to real thing. Rachel.

Wasn't possible at the time, unfortunately. Nor was hearing her voice.

So he settled for just watching the video that got both him and her famous, and a publicist. Really, it all seemed too surreal. But it wasn't a dream. No way could it all be a dream. It felt too real. All of it.

He contemplated calling her, but that would make him seem like he was the one caving. How was she supposed to learn anything if he gave up on trusting that she would come up victorious at the end of it? Obviously, he wanted to take her back. And he really wanted to do that now. But he couldn't.

She'd quit her job for him. Why would she do that? He didn't want her to do that. And especially not for him. That just proved that she was in need of more help that he thought. She needed to do things for herself. To see herself through his eyes. If only she could. She would be seeing quite a lot for such a small person.

Sighing, he leaned back in his seat, and listened to her sing "Chasing Cars" again. He would never get tired of hearing her voice.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_**I know, I know, I haven't posted in a bit, but that's because school got in the way. Had a day off today, so I've been working on this. Not crazy long, but more than the previous, and this if finally getting to that big bang we've all been waiting for! Happy reading!**_

* * *

_"So remind me why this movie is your favorite movie?" he asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow._

_ "Because, Finn Hudson, they end up together. They have a funny journey together, all the way to the end of the movie, which is the start of something amazing. Romantic comedy, duh," she said, munching on the popcorn, her eyes never once leaving the TV screen._

_ He was staring at the screen as well, trying to figure out the whole point of the movie. He wasn't much into movies, and when he did watch them, it was usually stuff like Iron Man or the Fast and Furious films. Action. Guy films. Never tried chick flicks._

_ There was a guy who was going to end up with one of three girls. And that would only be revealed at the end. Who his true love was._

_ Who knew Rachel was such a romantic? It never seemed to him that she would be, considering what kind of films she made. _

_ Finn decided that he loved the fact that Rachel had hope for romance. That she liked that her boyfriend was romantic, and sweet, and kind. That she was hoping for a future of sorts with him. It was a comforting thought._

_ Scooping her up in his arms, he held her close. "Do you wish your life was like one of these movies?"_

_ She turned her head to look at him and studied his face. Then, she shook her head slowly. "No, because then I wouldn't end up with you."_

_ Biting his lip to keep from grinning too widely, he kissed her softly, nudging his nose with hers. "I love you. And besides, you know we'll end up together. We're meant for each other." And it gave him great pride to say it, too._

_ "I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the universe throws our way," she replied simply, but with a smile upon her lips._

_ "We'll conquer it all. Every obstacle. Whatever it takes."_

_ He was so innocent, so sincere, that it almost made her heart hurt a bit. He was determined to end up with her. To make her his one and done. And if she was honest with him and told him that she knew it wouldn't happen, then maybe he wouldn't be so hopeful. She was terrible for getting his hopes up high, but she felt so much for him. She couldn't let him go. She couldn't live without him._

_ "Promise?"_

_ "I promise."_

_ Leaning forward, she kissed him again, then wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him close. Her heart was beating fast, but she thought it would burst from the emotions she was experiencing. She loved him. So much that she didn't know what to do. _

_ She wanted to end up with him. To marry him someday, maybe have a baby with him. He would make an amazing husband and father, she knew. She knew he'd love her forever, and would make sure nothing would come between them. He was a wonderful man, and he deserved the world. _

_ Unfortunately, she couldn't give him that. _

* * *

All she could think about was what he'd said to her. That she needed to see herself through his eyes. The way he saw her. And once she did that, they could be together. Well, he hadn't told her that last part, but she knew that's what he meant.

And he said it as if he was doing her a favor. Of course he would want her to see herself differently. Everyone would want her to see herself differently. She had been a whore for most of her adult life. And she was paid for it, too. She'd _enjoyed _it. But now? Now she just felt disgusted by it. She couldn't even think about anything sex-related without feeling sick to her stomach.

She was glad she had quit. She didn't want that life. She'd hurt the man she loves because of that life, and was too stupid to do it while they were still together.

There was one good thing in her life now, and it was her music. Her new song, and her piano skills. Her voice. She loved to sing. It was what kept her going. Her publicist booked her a few events, and she was thrilled to know that people in Beverly Hills wanted her to perform at their weddings, birthdays, and other parties. They wanted her voice. Not her body.

And that fact made her see herself in a different light. It was almost as if they respected her. And that, in turn, made her want to respect herself. It was quite the different feeling from what she felt every time she thought of Finn, but it was a very good, very warm feeling inside.

Her new song was nearly finished. She just needed to add in another few lines before going back to revising some of the chorus lines. But those were just minor fix-ups.

The sound of her phone ringing brought her back to the café she was sitting in, taking very small sips of her coffee and with a pen in hand.

"Hello?"

"Rachel, sweetheart, listen! Very good news!"

Carl always made her smile, no matter what. He had that sense of humor that was always positive and uplifting. Just what she always needed. "What is it this time, Carl?" Any gig booked was amazing.

"Your name's been traveling all over the place, and phone calls have been bouncing around, and…I got a phone call regarding the Grammy's. Hugh Jackman said he wouldn't do the final number, so your name came up. Don't know who brought it up. But the board thought it would be absolutely wonderful if Rachel Berry's new song would close the Grammy's. What do you say?"

At first, she couldn't move. Hell, she couldn't breathe. Her heart stopped. They wanted her to perform at the one of the greatest awards shows ever. She would be all the way up there with legends like Mariah Carey and Celine Dion. Her. Rachel Berry. They wanted her.

"Rachel, baby?"

She finally managed to find her voice. "Yes?"

"I need to give them an answer by the end of the hour."

"Yes," she breathed.

"What?"

"Tell them yes. I'll do it."

"Perfect! Better prepare for the full on diva, babe, because you'll be walking the red carpet!"

This never happened. Not to anyone. Not for a long time, anyway. How could Rachel Berry have gotten so famous in just a matter of weeks? And from a little youtube video, too? This was insane.

"Th-thank you, Carl. Thank you so much."

After she hung up, she noticed her hand was shaking. She was nervous, excited, and anxious all at the same time. The call hadn't been a figment of her imagination. Nor had it been a dream. She check her call log just to be sure.

Nope. Her publicist had called her just minutes ago.

She, Rachel Berry, would be making her debut at the Grammy Awards.

* * *

"The Grammy's?"

"Yup. They asked for you, specifically. Said Finn Hudson."

"You're sure?"

"Kid, I wouldn't be calling you right now if I wasn't sure. They love your camerawork, and really wanted a fresh face to plaster on that page."

"Did they want the red carpet event, too, and the after party?"

"Yes, yes, all of it. Well, at least some of the after party, anyway. Didn't need all of it. They want your angles."

He took a deep breath. He was finally getting recognized for his talent. And he was good at what he did, too. Finally, someone was appreciating his skills. And to film at the Grammy's was an amazing start to what could soon become film directing. This was his big break.

"Tell them to write me down. I'm in."

"Splendid! You'll get your cut when the tapes are reviewed, as you know it always works. And you'll be paid by the hour, and by the quality."

He nodded, even though his publicist couldn't see. "I know, I know. You are awesome, man. Thanks a lot."

"You are so very welcome, kid."

* * *

_**Does anyone else here picks up on what's really going on here? Plan's in motion!**_


End file.
